bothbarrels | Sanctum IC Contact

i was in the militia when that happened and i didn't know

what is one of them being dumb at you i punch dumb boys they both know that who do i have to punch

[ It's a while before he responds again. ]

It's me. Not them. Okay?

...so i should punch you...?

You'd have to catch up with me first.

that's what ambushes are for!! :)

We'll see then. You should know I don't blame either of them for what's going on with me.

okay that's good

is there anything i can do?

Wrath, I know you'd like to fix this somehow but things aren't so easy sometimes.

well north if i knew what the fucking problem was i wouldn't have to ask but since you're mr. vague i kind of have to because i'd be a shitty excuse for a friend if i didn't

What do you want? You want me to explain how I'm being an asshole about things no one can help? You and Orion can't help the fact that you two are attracted to each other. Maine can't help the fact that some future version of him killed me. I can't help the fact that I get sick being around him. It's just a shitty situation all around and wishing it were better won't change anything.

okay okay i'm gonna have to answer with a numbered list because there's a lot here okay

1) so like the thing with maine you're actually only being a dick if you act weird at him and don't tell him why like i'm scared of heights now right even though i know i can't just fall out a window it's kind of natural to be scared of shit that looks like the thing that killed you so

A) tell maine what the deal is no bullshit and he'll stop being pissy if he's getting pissy and if he doesn't i'll punch him in the dick cause that's not your fault

i) honestly all you rainbow colored assholes are really pissing me off in the sense that the only reason maine knows anything fucked up happened is after you showed me by accident i told him and then he like put the squeeze on york and people still aren't being straight with him i think his level of restraint is completely under appreciated cause if i was him i would have put one of you through a wall by now out of frustration at the insane levels of bullshit being thrown his way

B) get some fucking help about it like i hate shrinks as much as the next person that's had holes drilled in her brain but i'm still working on the heights thing with julien because yes i know he's both kinds of therapist even if everyone thinks i don't and i like him anyway cause he's an asshole

2) orion isn't actually attracted to me he likes all dick and no taco as far as i can tell so that's all on me

3) not saying to wish it better like wish in one hand and shit in the other right right but the point is there is shit you can do

A) and then it means there is shit that me and york could be doing to support you doing the shit you need to do

i) which includes calling you on not doing the shit you need to do

ii) and also includes getting you to actually admit there's a problem to begin with because you can't even start thinking about how to deal with a problem if there is no problem defined

4) so basically you're only an asshole if you refuse to try to do anything to better the situation and it's shitty i know and hard but you're a good guy and a strong guy and i know you can work on this and if it's never perfect that's fine but you have to start somewhere

A) you didn't let me be a dick about pt even though i was in serious denial about needing it

I've been doing what I can on my own. Maine and I have been put on an assignment together and we have to coordinate our troops for that. I didn't think talking to him about this would do much good for either of us. I just thought working with him will make me push through it and get over it.

That said?

If you really want me to look into it...I can.

i think talking to maine will make it easier for you to work together he's a soldier north he understands how this shit works and he's an asshole but he's not sadistic or anything if he understands what your deal is he'll be less pissed and he might work with you on it and if he is a jerk about it tell me and i will have a talk with him about being a good co and fellow soldier

i'd be tempted to tell him myself but i an trying to respect your privacy here and also i think he'll lose a lot of respect for you if he hears it from someone else it's probably already bad that you're basically bullshitting him

i really do want you to look into this the whole point of having friends is you don't have to do this shit by yourself right your friends have your six

i can get you in touch with julien he's not all happy fluffy weird shit

you can do this north

I don't have the first clue what to say to him. I'm used to being the one that helps people with stuff like this.

it's tough but maine is a no bullshit person like me so i'd suggest just like meeting for a beer and laying it out. this is what happened in project ridiculous fuckery this is why it's fucking with you.

idk if it would help but i don't mind going along and having a juice instead of a beer so i can translate mainespeak or whatever but i think you really don't want to make this more complicated than it needs to be cause that just is going to make it harder on you in the long run

Yeah. Alone is probably best.

I hope you don't mind if I don't tell him you twisted my arm.

it'd be better for you if you didn't so of course i don't mind

not like he tells anyone how much shit i arm twist him into doing either :)

Of course not.

You know? We were never very close but we were friendly. Before all this happened. We partied together on leave. We were teammates, as much as it's possible to call Freelancers a team.

I never thought of myself as a jealous person but I get jealous when you talk about being that good of friends with him. I don't have any right to be but I do.

i don't think maine really gets close to people in general

maine understands a lot of my shit and i guess in a way i'm glad you don't quite the same because it means you aren't so fucked but it says some sad shit about him when you look at it that way

i care about maine a lot but that doesn't mean i care about you any less

Yeah. I understand.

but i also know jealousy isn't a logical thing right so don't beat yourself up

I'm well acquainted with my illogical side lately.

it happens to everyone it's okay it's only bad if you don't work on making a change

well and it's not like logic is the be all and end all emotions are important too as long as it's not live fire it kind of bugs me that everyone is like oh no i have to be this super emotionless robot

Well, I don't think that's what that means. Delta's made of logic and he's not an emotionless robot.

no he's not he's super smart and very sweet

i'm just really over the hurfdurf super manly space marine bullshit :p

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text

Late 204 text