TFLN Responses

[bothbarrels]

Comments

[bothbarrels]

1. I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.

2. Just remember, if you set your screensaver to be a slideshow, make sure you remove any dick pics first.

3. I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.

4. Who, me? I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god. You?

5. Text him!

4.

[volunteeredforthiscrap]

...Why?

[bothbarrels]

I don't know, how am I supposed to find god if I don't ask?

2

[abiden]

Uh. Thanks for the advice, I guess?

[bothbarrels]

Oh, it's real good advice.

You weren't in this morning's meeting, were you?

[abiden]

No, I had training scheduled. Why, what happened?

[bothbarrels]

1. Ok so my commander told me I could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about...

2. You know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.

3. I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls

4. He asked me to get him another beer, and somehow I started making muffins.

5. Text him!

3

[silent_scowling]

Would be cool.

[bothbarrels]

You have a flair for understatement.

[silent_scowling]

I prefer my flares in grenades.

[missilepod]

4. You two are so domestic it’s sickening.

[bothbarrels]

Hey, we were hungry. And I figured muffins would hit the spot, you know

[missilepod]

Please don’t tell me you put granola in them. Why you can’t get shitty nachos while drunk like the rest of us is beyond me.

1

[ownperson]

okay so look

i didn't think she'd take me seriously

[bothbarrels]

Wait...what did you do?

[ownperson]

does bitching at your CO count as 'doing' something if you didn't expect her to think you were actually fucking serious

[bothbarrels]

1. She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren

2. This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handjob?

3. I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood

4. please don't ironically join a cult

5. Text him!

4

[ownperson]

ur such a square

can't a girl have fun anymore. it's not like i'm for real getting cult-ified

[bothbarrels]

Yes but *they* don't know that

And you don't want to deal with that

[bothbarrels]

1. Do you ever go through someone else's pictures and just appreciate the fact that you're not really friends with them?

2. I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."

3. This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.

4. I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.

5. Text him!

4

[truththatsticks]

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

[She loves you bro, but she knows you]

[bothbarrels]

hush, you

4

[volunteeredforthiscrap]

Second option seems more likely if you're still wearing clothes.

[bothbarrels]

inconclusive. I'm in my boxers

[bothbarrels]

1. He's currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."

2. So we started a "sorry for partying" wall in our house which consists if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders we've gotten. The ENTIRE wall is covered.

3. Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.

4. I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u

5. Text him!